How we communicate as Dads to our wife, to our children, to our ex-wife is so very important. It is obvious to say but in practice much harder to actually do. Standing in our masculine power, sure-footed and certain, with an equal amount of empathy, love and appreciation is not natural to all of us.
It is in this context that Tracy Poizner works with step-mums and separated Dads who are in a new relationship.
Whether you are still in your marriage or trying to navigate dialogue with your ex, getting communication right can be the difference between forward momentum and utter breakdown. We can be all like "it's her, not me" but where does that get us? We cannot change other people but we can work on ourselves.
As Dads, we need to be present to our values and what we want out of our relationships. Ask yourself, what is it I am hoping to achieve? How do I want this to turn out? It is not about being a push-over nor is about constantly battling back. You will not achieve anything by focusing on the immediate issue either. Let stuff go and focus on the bigger picture. This is where you will find both your strength and inner peace.
Divorced Dad Stigma
If you are a divorced Dad then you will likely know you are up against the stigma of 'deadbeat Dad' or of people presuming it had to be the man's fault that the relationship broke down. It is all our responsibility as Modern Dads to responsibly show a different story. Sure the relationship went wrong for whatever reason but now it is time to do and be what is right for everyone, especially your children.
Your communication is part of that. Lord knows it is painful and unfair at times. And indeed it can be some Mums that are experiencing this. Whatever it takes aim to take the higher ground, do it.
- Review emails and text messages before sending them.
- Try and reduce how much you have written.
- Be clear in what you want to happen or create in the future, not always reflecting on the past.
- Remove all swear words and "you are..." statements.
- Talk about your children as "our children".
- And most importantly remind yourself that not every message or situation needs an immediate response. You will likely feel different two hours later or in the morning.
Here are some co-parenting apps you could try...
note: Team Super Dad has not tested all these services.
Free Stuff and Links For Tracy Poizner:
Team Super Dad
Team Super Dad gives Dads the tools and confidence to live their life they desire, not the life they feel stuck with. We transform Dads health, wealth and happiness so that they can feel great about themself, create more time with their family and enjoy life to the full.
Find Out More About Team Super Dad
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.