For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

After three years and 262 glorious episodes for The Athletic, the Football Clichés podcast is moving to a new home.

The back catalogue will stay right here for you to revisit but Adam, Charlie and David’s exploration of the language of football (and beyond) will continue here: https://lnk.to/kdWOMyTA

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Football Clichés has moved! Here’s where to find us…

After three years and 262 glorious episodes for The Athletic, the Football Clichés podcast is moving to a new home. The back catalogue will stay right here for you to revisit but Adam, Charlie and David’s exploration of the language of football (and beyond)... more

October 12, 2023
Oct 12

01:20

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The end of an era

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and - in his final appearance - David Walker for the closing Adjudication Panel of the season. On the agenda: the Premier League's "Pure Referee's Name XI", a deep data dive on footballers' appearances... more

May 31, 2023
May 31

58:34

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The Football Clichés Quiz VIII

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its eighth edition, and the stakes have been raised for defending champion Michael Cox as his challenger this time is none other than Adam Hurrey himself, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare stepping into the quizmaster's... more

May 24, 2023
May 24

45:19

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Crosses left on the doorstep, egg all over his shirt & the Phantom Drury Effect

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: What type of goal is the most "still had work to do" goal possible, the No 1 religious reference to deploy during a live TV commentary, the... more

May 23, 2023
May 23

49:50

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Suitcase moods, goalkeepers on fire & VAR eavesdropping

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: some tense Serie A small talk with an Italian, the Russian football equivalent of being “on the beach”, the concept of... more

May 18, 2023
May 18

44:08

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The trajectory of a ping, going down with a whimper & the knows the club coefficient

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: stress-testing a “knows the club” coefficient model, the threshold for a club “going down with a whimper”, an exhaustive list of football’s... more

May 16, 2023
May 16

46:12

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Base layers, the WELL IN! threshold & the language of champions-elect

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker welcome the listeners' May entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, with the Clichés faithful nominating their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the futility of... more

May 11, 2023
May 11

39:55

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Old-fashioned No 9s, seeing your name in lights and the spice-rack league table

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: The managerial disciplinary tightrope, when old-fashioned No 9s first became “old-fashioned”, the subtle difference between "score" and... more

May 9, 2023
May 9

41:51

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Title-race non-twists, ChatGPT does MHD & pinpointing the start of the 'modern era'

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the spiralling language of Chelsea's meltdown, ChatGPT selects its Mesut Haaland Dicks, reducing Sam Allardyce's Leeds... more

May 4, 2023
May 4

42:44

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The greatest moment in football podcasting history

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Kasper Schmeichel's Monday Night Football punditry debut, Roy Keane spotted at the snooker, Rishi Sunak’s Northern... more

May 2, 2023
May 2

51:06

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'He's got his goal', the 'family club' criteria & ChatGPT's Streets Won't Forget XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: More surname-based goal celebrations, football punditry's equivalent of a solar eclipse, Erling Haaland and the most... more

April 27, 2023
Apr 27

41:21

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Sting in the stands, quickfire topical chanting & the velocity of a wounded duck

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a handball-appeal hat-trick at Ipswich, the most “left on the halfway line to defend when your team has a corner”... more

April 25, 2023
Apr 25

45:56

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The Overmythologised XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox to compile a lineup of players whose myths, auras and internet legacies have eclipsed their mortal footballing existences. The selection process takes in cartoon goalkeepers of the... more

April 20, 2023
Apr 20

1:02:24

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Beginner-level knee-slides, ChatGPKeys & the Match of the Day seagull

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel for the 250th episode of the pod. The agenda includes: the new world record for keepy-uppies, Rolls Royces at the snooker, horses finding pockets of space at... more

April 18, 2023
Apr 18

40:41

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Pure Cliches: What makes a stadium a cauldron? & mundane FIFA animations

With 249 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 69 to identify exactly what elements a stadium needs to make it a... more

April 16, 2023
Apr 16

17:50

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5-a-side shouters, relentless Continental whistling... and what's the best name for a second division?

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, with the Clichés faithful nominating their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are being the... more

April 13, 2023
Apr 13

47:51

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Title race in their hands, the world at their feet & the streets forgetting Teemu Pukki

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Whose hands the Premier League title race is actually in now, the threshold for a young starlet having “the world at their feet”, a listener's... more

April 11, 2023
Apr 11

36:04

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Match vs Game and the most 5-a-side Premier League goal ever

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a potential new career option for Frank Lampard, "the most 5-a-side goal the Premier League has ever seen", stadiums that have their own... more

April 6, 2023
Apr 6

51:15

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No Context Peter Drury, a spate of sackings & leaving everything out there

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the need for a collective noun for manager sackings, some deluxe-level Peter Drury commentary, the mid-weekend shorthand language of title races and... more

April 4, 2023
Apr 4

40:30

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International ringers, Messi vs stewards and footballers' home museums, with Max Fosh

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Nick Miller are joined by comedian and YouTube star Max Fosh for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Max's selections are the precise thought process behind a switch of international footballing allegiance, the... more

March 30, 2023
Mar 30

51:08

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Smashing records, The [Player X] Show & Xerxes' big-game bottlers

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the Window Cleaning World Cup, whether Harry Kane really has "smashed" the England goalscoring record, a very footbally reason why the second... more

March 28, 2023
Mar 28

40:07

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The purest Soccer AM lineup, the Messi of Maths and the tidiest Premier League player

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Marking the demise of Soccer AM by selecting its ultimate guest lineup, "The Messi of Maths" and his equivalent of the cold, wet Tuesday... more

March 23, 2023
Mar 23

43:52

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Fictional football shirts & the most internationally eligible player of all time

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: The most punworthy FA Cup quarter-final in living memory, Nike vs Warner Bros in a Ted Lasso kit saga, the player eligible to play for the most... more

March 21, 2023
Mar 21

40:39

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Childish stadium nicknames, classy Sunday League touches & the perfect goal

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and Jack Lang field March's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are childish (and borderline pathetic)... more

March 16, 2023
Mar 16

50:13

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Cracked MOTD badges, natty free kicks and the reigning Voice of Football

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: surveying the wreckage of the weekend's Match of the Day saga, an unexpected Indian summer for one English manager's career, a Premier League... more

March 14, 2023
Mar 14

46:55

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Dion Dublin's Blackpool boasts & the most Premier League club yet to play in the Premier League

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: some professional musicians wade into the Sheffield Wednesday/ABBA saga, a thorough fact-check of Dion Dublin’s goalscoring boasts on Homes... more

March 9, 2023
Mar 9

46:35

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Martin Tyler vs Peter Drury: The Bake-Off

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Some more joyous local radio co-commentary, the least expected product in the world to be described as a "Rolls-Royce", Martin Tyler and Peter Drury... more

March 7, 2023
Mar 7

44:42

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The Football Clichés Quiz VII

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for a seventh edition. Reigning champion Michael Cox looks to retain his title once more as the takes on ex-Opta information ace Duncan Alexander across another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Things In... more

March 2, 2023
Mar 2

39:43

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League Cup champions don't exist & the big upfield/downfield debate

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Using the word "champions" for cup winners, Jurgen Klinsmann's perfect new job, a brief history of Steve McManaman measuring space in ounces,... more

February 28, 2023
Feb 28

45:28

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Football through a pub window, Sign him up! and transfer-rumour Photoshopping

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field February's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are watching football... more

February 23, 2023
Feb 23

55:00

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Unexpected centre-backs in Frasier and a scandalous football TV quiz question

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a Premier League centre-back namechecked on Frasier 29 years ago, what scorelines qualify as "a rout", a Match of the Day commentator... more

February 21, 2023
Feb 21

50:09

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Pure Cliches: The Sam Allardyce XI & Cometh The Hour-gate

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we bring you a snippet of the Sam Allardyce XI and also relive the now infamous... more

February 19, 2023
Feb 19

09:27

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Sunday League pre-seasons and how to 'bring the ball under your spell', with Josh Pugh

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by comedian and writer Josh Pugh for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Josh's selections are players who go to World Cups because they're "good to have around", the phrase "bringing... more

February 16, 2023
Feb 16

58:52

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Self-appointed visitors, Carlo Ancelotti for England and Match of Day's canned laughter

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: whether Carlo Ancelotti is the most international team-y manager who’s never managed a national team, the difference between the midfield... more

February 14, 2023
Feb 14

55:26

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Boring on-pitch jobs, late fitness tests and artificial atmospheres, with Nick Hancock

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by broadcaster and 90s football video legend Nick Hancock for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Nick's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the mundane... more

February 9, 2023
Feb 9

54:12

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Thrashing thresholds and the most culturally significant Harry Kane goal of all

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: every recorded Jack Grealish reaction being fouled, the intensely disturbing vibe of Nathan Jones, the commentary turning point of Harry... more

February 7, 2023
Feb 7

54:50

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The Pure Serie A XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by James Horncastle and Michael Cox to compile the most representative lineup of players from the last 30 years of Italian football's technical quirks, huge egos and curious career paths. Their journey takes them from an... more

February 2, 2023
Feb 2

55:02

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Picking up the pieces in the cathedrals of football

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Duncan Alexander for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Brendan Rodgers talks about his 50th birthday in the most football way possible, the point at which goals compilations can go from "best" to... more

January 31, 2023
Jan 31

39:56

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Interrogating celebrity fans and post-victory highlights binging, with Matt Lucas & Elis James

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by British comedy royalty Matt Lucas and his Fantasy Football League sidekick Elis James for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Matt's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are using... more

January 26, 2023
Jan 26

38:23

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Deconstructing (and reassembling) the most silencing the critics goal celebration of all time

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the optimum order of the components of the "ignoring the outside noise" goal celebration, whether a goalkeeper can ever be a "passenger", an... more

January 24, 2023
Jan 24

52:02

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FA Cup sex noises, combined XIs and the elegant pointlessness of centre circles

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field January's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the need to explain... more

January 19, 2023
Jan 19

49:44

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Lovely little NBA players and outfieldery-looking goalkeepers

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: How and where players can "tear it up", whether it's possible to be a "lovely little player" in the NBA and transfer reporters clashing over... more

January 17, 2023
Jan 17

52:58

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The dog on pitch protocol with Duncan Alexander

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Opta ace Duncan Alexander for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Duncan's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are lesser-known football-influencing... more

January 12, 2023
Jan 12

57:31

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Is it better to be a carthorse or a donkey?

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and - for his 100th appearance on the pod - David Walker. On the agenda: the specific footballing skills referenced most in football chants, what constitutes being "held to a... more

January 10, 2023
Jan 10

57:11

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There or thereabouts, how to let your country down and low-key football inventions

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the first Adjudication Panel of 2023. On the agenda: The administrative hurdles for stadiums being named after Pele, Goodison Park's first big boo of the year, a man who claims to... more

January 5, 2023
Jan 5

56:38

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The Best of Football Clichés in 2022 - Part Two

The "whisper it quietly, but" phenomenon, more psychological Cliches Quiz warfare, when a "game of chess" becomes "cat and mouse", the footballing definition of "Johnny on the spot", Keys and Gray meet Sean Dyche, cometh the hour... cometh the scandal, The... more

December 30, 2022
Dec 30

1:01:14

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The Best of Football Clichés in 2022 - Part One

In the first of an end-of-year double-header, Football Clichés takes another look at the podcast's very best moments of 2022, featuring: Plausible parliamentary football chants with Sir Keir Starmer, Les Miserables meets Serie A, Andy Townsend in and around... more

December 24, 2022
Dec 24

1:07:02

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Argentina's dreamland, Salt Bae the footballer and Keys on Kaka

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the final Adjudication Panel of 2022. On the agenda: the finer details of the greatest World Cup final of all time, what kind of footballer that ubiquitous VIP Salt Bae would be, news of a... more

December 20, 2022
Dec 20

53:22

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Hip-hop Brian Moore and the definitive 2022 World Cup exit descriptions

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the official description for the World Cup exits of all 14 vanquished nations in the knockouts, some late-1980s industrial... more

December 16, 2022
Dec 16

45:54

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Fine margins, the on-toast threshold and England's victorious 2030 World Cup XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: A poignant moment for the AI-powered Alan Smith commentary, the first ever player to plug their autobiography in a post-match... more

December 13, 2022
Dec 13

42:11

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Armchair fandom, conveyor belts of talent and Roy Keane's kickabout goal celebration

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Roy Keane's ITV kickabout goal celebration, a moral judgement on bringing on your third-choice goalkeeper when 4-1 up, how... more

December 9, 2022
Dec 9

47:54

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Three Lions (AI-powered Alan Smith Qatar 2022 Remix)

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: EastEnders scriptwriters getting in on the World Cup act, Qatar 2022's baffling obsession with 90s one-hit wonders, 19-year-old Jude... more

December 6, 2022
Dec 6

34:33

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Big magicians, AI-powered football commentary and the Pure Qatar 2022 World Cup XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Other possible group-stage tiebreakers, the mythical status of tiddlywinks, a curious mid-tournament friendly result, kit... more

December 2, 2022
Dec 2

53:53

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Scoring for fun, the big nil-all debate and John Herdman's Premier League destiny

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Peter Drury announces himself to the Moroccan market, Martin Tyler's solo World Cup commentary marathon and whether the phrase "nil-all"... more

November 29, 2022
Nov 29

39:40

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The World Cup shop window and the worst person possible to watch England vs USA with

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the latest World Cup Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the least enviable venue to watch England vs USA, the most timeless World Cup fixture possible, a technical dismantling of Bebeto’s... more

November 25, 2022
Nov 25

46:57

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The Three Lions' share of possession, lucky chickens & referee shirt names

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare on the first Adjudication Panel of the World Cup. On the agenda: England's eventful opener against Iran, the latest tedious tournament-predicting animal, a brave new world for... more

November 22, 2022
Nov 22

40:42

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The Pure World Cup XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox warm up for the small matter of Qatar 2022 by selecting a team of players who are most disproportionately known for their World Cup exploits, from Mexican goalkeepers, and centre-backs, to... more

November 17, 2022
Nov 17

37:02

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Everton booing in the mirror, World Cup snubbings and Jonathan Pearce's yuletide supremacy

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the most comprehensive post-defeat fronting-up in Premier League history, Peter Drury nails an unprecedented quadruple alliteration, confused... more

November 15, 2022
Nov 15

43:02

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The Perfect World Cup

As a widely-criticised winter World Cup approaches, The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by James Maw and Jack Pitt-Brooke to dream up a Perfect World Cup, composed of the best individual elements from the tournament's history. From the complex concept of... more

November 10, 2022
Nov 10

46:14

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Ally McCoist of Troy, towerous headers and Mick McCarthy's central defenders club

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and James Maw on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Which year each Champions League last-16 tie really belongs in, the mid-table vocabulary of Graham Potter, Peter Drury lending his voice to Aldi's... more

November 8, 2022
Nov 8

41:16

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Tenuous landmarks and angry DMs to Transfermarkt: The myths and realities of Messi vs Ronaldo

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Joshua Robinson, co-author of new book Messi vs Ronaldo, to examine the way football has consumed the two greatest players of the modern era. From the textbook elements of Ronaldo's backstory... more

November 3, 2022
Nov 3

52:12

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Tunnels of doubt, Carry On Up The Tyler and a proud EFL goals round-up tradition

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the "tunnel of doubt" tries to disrupt the stranglehold of the "corridor of uncertainty", football chants that just don't scan, some bawdy... more

November 1, 2022
Nov 1

39:22

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The Football Clichés Quiz VI: World Cup Edition

The Football Clichés Quiz returns ahead of Qatar 2022 with a special World Cup edition. Reigning champion Michael Cox aims to become the first to retain the title as he takes on former champion Charlie Eccleshare across five rounds of niche World Cup... more

October 27, 2022
Oct 27

45:43

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Stomping grounds, Panenka volley-lobs and premature glimmers of hope

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Did the Premier League bring badge-kissing to US sport? Can Tottenham's stadium be your "old stomping ground" if you only played for them at White... more

October 25, 2022
Oct 25

42:35

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Managers in sunglasses, pointless punditry and the definition of a disallowed goal, with Geoff Shreeves

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Sky Sports' chief touchline reporter Geoff Shreeves for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Geoff's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are pundits'... more

October 20, 2022
Oct 20

58:19

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The pinball threshold, MLS linos & kicking football jokes out of politics

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel for the 200th episode of the pod. On the agenda: the official end for football/politics crossover humour, former guest Doc Brown returns with a new twist on... more

October 18, 2022
Oct 18

48:13

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Carbon-copy goals, rounding the keeper & the last five minutes of half-time: The listeners do Mesut Haaland Dicks

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are identical wondergoals... more

October 13, 2022
Oct 13

55:50

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The crossbar crisis, regurgitated corners & a tricky trip to Google Road

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the epidemic of non-regulation-height crossbars, Countdown's Susie Dent plants her flag on Clichés soil, a predictable twist for anti-VAR discourse... more

October 11, 2022
Oct 11

46:02

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Football in the dictionary, Gareth Southgate's annoying postman and The Timewasting XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for another Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the Oxford English Dictionary's new football-related entries, the six-year saga that Gareth Southgate and his opinionated postman and Glenn... more

October 6, 2022
Oct 6

55:20

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Toe-plonks, fan extractors and the 'men against boys' threshold

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Kevin Keegan hosting yet another obscure industry awards ceremony, an Irish variation on the new-fangled "draught excluder", a close... more

October 4, 2022
Oct 4

49:20

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International talismans, brave battlers and disappointing deflections: The listeners do Mesut Haaland Dicks

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker present a new monthly edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, in which the pod's army of listeners nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the Football Clichés faithful's... more

September 29, 2022
Sep 29

55:17

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Comic Sans trophies, darts' 12th man and 'acres of time'

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this time: the technicalities of England's hotly-disputed open-play goal drought, darts taking the concept of "the 12th man" to an... more

September 27, 2022
Sep 27

38:47

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Price-tag placement, England's kit font and the 'What Are YOU Doing Here?' XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to select a lineup of players who made some unexpected, barely-computable stops in their careers. From goalkeepers who just couldn't quit, to graceful midfielders who were thrust into... more

September 22, 2022
Sep 22

59:49

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Goalscoring wildlife, giving the goalkeeper the eyes and lighting the blue touchpaper

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: a stock-take of the remaining Erling Haaland superlatives, commentators who greet certain goals with the words "AND HOW!", the... more

September 20, 2022
Sep 20

44:10

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Half-hearted Premier League All-Stars, minimal backlift and flies on dressing-room walls

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The latest agenda includes: the grim reality of what would be the Premier League All-Star game, whether "minimal backlift" is actually a thing or not, the... more

September 15, 2022
Sep 15

42:20

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San Marino vs Seychelles, seventh-tier ball plinths and a cold, wet night in Buffalo

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the NFL embraces the "cold, wet night in Stoke", alarming reports of ball plinths in the seventh tier, a comprehensive preview of... more

September 13, 2022
Sep 13

32:09

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Chelsea managers who somehow never happened & the great Champions League pronunciation debate

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: dusting off the "Sacked Chelsea Manager discourse" phrasebook, David Beckham's latest Qatar tourism promo, Martin Keown's... more

September 8, 2022
Sep 8

52:29

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Footballers as verbs, the Brazilian Michael Flatley and Sean Dyche meets Keys & Gray

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: players who deserve to have their names used as footballing verbs, Tony Pulis' apparently exclusive phrase of "leg beaters", some... more

September 6, 2022
Sep 6

52:02

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Rainham Steel, statuesque goalkeepers and fraudulent throw-in appeals, with Rory Smith

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks by Rory Smith, chief soccer correspondent of the New York Times and author of the new book Expected Goals: The story of how data conquered football and... more

September 1, 2022
Sep 1

59:56

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Gloss-adding goals, away fans sucking the ball in and... Nigel, it's Fulham

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Whether or now away ends can "suck the ball into the net", a very curious usage of "rolling back the years", identifying the most... more

August 30, 2022
Aug 30

47:45

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Every Premier League Club’s Transfer DNA

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a stock-take of all 20 Premier League clubs' transfer market identities: which precise sort of player encapsulates their transfer window habits in the modern era? And who is... more

August 25, 2022
Aug 25

54:14

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Wazzed corners, four-and-a-half-pointers and EFL abbreviation abominations

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the most expensive footballer of all time not to have a Wikipedia photo, a Portuguese twist on the old "six-pointer", corners being... more

August 23, 2022
Aug 23

48:48

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The 'Welcome to the Premier League' XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw for a journey deep into the ego of the Premier League. After 30 years of its self-declaration as the greatest - and hardest - league in the world, with its own physical, psychological and... more

August 18, 2022
Aug 18

48:02

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Caught in three minds, EFL saxaphones and 28 seconds of Drury deliberation

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Conor Coady breaks the "football club" world record for his Everton unveiling, the harmless but inappropriate theme tune for ITV's... more

August 16, 2022
Aug 16

1:04:45

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Ball-boy dark arts, gaffers and We Are The Champions, with David Goldblatt

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by football writer, broadcaster and sociologist David Goldblatt for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among David's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the... more

August 11, 2022
Aug 11

54:49

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Classified Results 0 Auto-Pilot Hysteria 1, quickfire doubles and thirsty managers

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker gather for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: Every layer of the backlash to the news that the BBC Radio 5 Live have scrapped the classified results after 70 years, the difference... more

August 9, 2022
Aug 9

47:56

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The Football Clichés Quiz V

The Football Clichés Quiz returns ahead of the new season. Reigning champion James Maw aims to become the first to retain the title as he takes on challenger Michael Cox across five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including YouTube football... more

August 4, 2022
Aug 4

48:38

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Textbook Lionessing, scandalous kit evoking and school playground crowd sounds

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker form the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda this week: the mandatory elements of the Lionesses' Euro 2022 glory, some scandalous kitspeak from Fulham, new twists on the "cold night in... more

August 2, 2022
Aug 2

50:43

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Breaths of fresh air, managers vs head coaches and Leeds' Korean-language legacy

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are reunited for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the footballing implications of the phrase "whisper it (quietly) but...", the Big Premier League "Manager or Head Coach" Quiz for... more

July 26, 2022
Jul 26

43:42

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Heathrow Ultras, the Butcher of Amsterdam & Every Premier League pre-season friendly ever

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller gather for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: the sad demise of the football/politics analogy, the sensational story arc of William "Worst Miss of All Time" Akio, Lisandro Martinez - the... more

July 19, 2022
Jul 19

47:10

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The Pure Team GB Olympic XI

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and debutant Ajay Rose mark 10 years since Team GB cobbled together a men's football team for London 2012, one of the most curious one-offs in modern football history, by asking: what would that team look like today?... more

July 14, 2022
Jul 14

51:48

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Taliswomen, the worst miss of all time and the summer World Cup you didn't know about

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and James Maw form the latest Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Can Denmark's Pernille Harder be Denmark's "talis...woman"? Breaking down every element of the greatest miss in football history, the definitive list... more

July 12, 2022
Jul 12

53:35

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Mickey Mouse on a Bosman, QPR's Nick Kyrgios and fishing with David Seaman

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller convene for the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda: Champions League football coming to the BBC, the Barry Davies World Cup 2002 commentary we all thought was lost forever, Mickey Mouse leaving... more

July 5, 2022
Jul 5

53:41

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Max Rushden on Sunday League aggro, ex-footballer ice-breakers and the noble art of the target man

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by Guardian Football Weekly host and former Soccer AM ace Max Rushden for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Max's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are... more

June 30, 2022
Jun 30

1:12:00

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Long-lost commentary, transfer-coup thresholds & the birth of the Cold Night in Stoke

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Nick Miller and James Maw are on this week's Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: another blow for those who still call it "the Premiership", whether Gabriel Jesus to Arsenal counts as a "transfer coup", Marseille and Real Betis going... more

June 28, 2022
Jun 28

58:55

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Corrie kit crimes, unplayable strikers and training-ground naming conventions

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker convene for the Adjudication Panel once again. On the agenda: some semi-convincing football small talk on Coronation Street, Frank Lampard's accurate portrayal on Football Manager, the most... more

June 21, 2022
Jun 21

47:22

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Touchline bust-ups, Pro Evo commentary and dislocated shoelaces, with Lawro

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Liverpool defender, European Cup winner and long-serving BBC pundit Mark Lawrenson or, as simply everyone knows him, Lawro. Among Lawro's selections for his footballing fascinations and... more

June 16, 2022
Jun 16

45:11

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Robo-linos, basement boys England and the future stars of Soccer Aid

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker assemble for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: celebrity baker Paul Hollywood, Rolls-Royce cricketers, The Killers playing Carrow Road, England's Nations League... more

June 14, 2022
Jun 14

54:07

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Flimsy transfer language, the super sub threshold and Hojbjerg vs Egg

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller assemble for the latest edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: football talk creeping into cricket and darts, the flimsiest possible language used for transfer speculation, Thibaut Courtois'... more

June 7, 2022
Jun 7

50:49

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The dying art of the stepover, and superficial footballing superstitions, with Dotun Adebayo

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by host of the Brazilian Shirt Name Podcast, 5 Live presenter, Charlton Athletic supporter and existential philosophy enthusiast Dotun Adebayo Among Dotun's selections for his footballing... more

June 2, 2022
Jun 2

56:31

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