Footballland

Rory Delap's Dilapidated Lap Dance | Footballland Ep 26

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Welcome one and all, to another episode of Footballland! And not just any episode, but the 6 month anniversary!

We're building the world's first football theme park, and we couldn't have done it without your help. We welcome our newest patron, Rob Lindsay, who sponsors our third Footballland Car Park. Rob gets a shout out next week, but we thought we'd say hi now anyway.

So this week in Footballland:

Itchy Knee Shinji Go!

Part Japanese game show, part obstacle course, part biography of Japan's best player to ever put on a Borussia Dortmund shirt: Shinji Kagawa. But why are there 100 children inside snooker balls? And what's with the pyramid of unemployed Germans?

Rory Delap's Dilapidated Lap Dance

Have you ever been to a Stoke City themed strip club? The world's first wet and windy lapdancing venue opens its doors with robots that look exactly like Rory Delap! Can it get any sexier? Or more dangerous, as it turns out....

Patreon Submission - Phil Lee's Big Expensive Flops

Patron Phil Lee demands that the English rides be more expensive and slightly worse than the rest of the park. We discuss the plan and come to a crucial vote.

Keep sending us your ideas! We'll feature every single one.

Footballland Explained:

Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.

Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland

Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter, Intern.

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