Footballland

Harry Maguire's Mykonos Madness | Footballland Ep 28

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It's been another hugely successful meeting at Footballland, and we're pleased to announce TWO new rides PLUS the finishing touches to our mascot, Captain Footballland.

Frank Rijkaard's Flob Shy

Remember when Dutch superstar Frank Rijkaard spat in Perm-aned German Rudi Voller's hair during Italia 90? Have you always thought, gosh I'd love to have a go at gobbing into someone's hair myself? You've come to the right place!

Harry Maguire's Mykonos Madness

Patron Andrew Monument (Monument!?) brings us a Greek-themed bar where Footballland guests can get drunk and fight a replica (or real?) Harry Maguire, who's been trapped in a cage and poked with a stick until he's really angry! It's your classic Brits-abroad brawl!

Who is Captain Footballland?

Several meetings ago, Ryan introduced the theme park's mascot, Captain Footballland. But what does he look like? And why does he have Pele's penis?

As ever, we read out all your ideas, so please get them into us pronto.

Much love,

Anthony, Mark and Ryan

Footballland Explained:

Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.

Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland

Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter, Intern.

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