It's Not Rocket Science! Five Questions Over Coffee

Five Questions Over Coffee with Jen DuPlessis (ep. 55)

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Episode notes

Who is Jen?

Living your Legacy while you are building it!

Jen is recognized as an Influencer in her industry as the best-selling author of LAUNCH-How to Take Your Business to New Heights, top podcast host of Mortgage Lending Mastery, and highly sought out and charismatic speaker; speaking on stages with such icons as Darren Hardy, Tony Robbins, and Les Brown.

Key Takeaways

1. Our mess becomes our message,; it's the glorification of our busyness,

2. Core values are convictions. What are your core values? What are the boundaries you've set and are you living up to them? Do you have the discipline to do that? Who are the mentors in your life, sometimes when you climb a ladder, you have to let go of people that help to get to each rung because they're not ready to go to that next level.

3. Keep it simple by taking the time to slow down long enough so that you can speed up later instead of speeding up now so that you slow down everywhere.

Words to live by :

"We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest; And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best.". ― Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

Valuable Free Resource or Action

A free pdf at jenduplessis.com/7strategies

A video version of this podcast is available on YouTube :

Linkedin : https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:ugcPost:6906980373092548608/

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Transcript

Note, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

life, core values, book, business, question, strategies, building, love, missing, jen, clarity, tire, living, clients, reading, tca, luxury, podcast, legacy, thought

SPEAKERS

Jen Duplessis, Stuart Webb

Stuart Webb  00:22

Hi again and welcome to It's not rocket science. I questions over coffee. I'm really, really pleased to be here with Dan do. Pettis is going to be talking to us about building our legacy was living it, which I think is going to be a great subject. Really looking forward to this. Welcome to the show, Jen, looking forward to having a conversation.

Jen Duplessis  00:43

Well, thank you, Stuart, I am absolutely delighted to be here today.

Stuart Webb  00:47

That's terrific. So let's start with the first question, which is, so who is it you're trying to reach and teach? And what is the problem that they have got?

Jen Duplessis  00:57

Yeah, so people that are most attracted to working with me are high level achievers who are missing something in their lives. They have the achievement. But now they're turning around and going, okay, something's missing, I thought this was going to be it. That's, that's the biggest thing that they're doing. And so that's what I help people with is find that something that's missing so they can find happiness. So can

Stuart Webb  01:22

you give us some examples of those things that are missing in the ways that they just sort that out without getting any help? Because, you know, we so often think that we can do these things, and we so often fail. Yeah, you know,

Jen Duplessis  01:35

I think, you know, for me, and I'll give you my example, too, because this was my problem, our mess becomes our message, we know that, you know, it's the glorification of busyness, you know, and the way that I always describe it as if you think about a wheel on a car, you know, the steel, most people focus on the steel being their business, I've got to have this great business, and it has to be what great and perfect in my career, and I'm climbing the corporate ladder, and it's all about, you know, crawling uphill in sand, right? And then the outer part of it, the tire has its flat, it has nails in it, it's been treaded on right? And that becomes our personal lives. If we could just refocus that right and say, Okay, let's make the steel, our personal lives, let's make everything about our personal lives. Beautiful, like living a life of luxury. And I'll tell you about that here in a minute, the luxury of making the choice to have you first instead of your business. And then instead of just saying, Oh, well, I'll let the the business have the flat and the holes and all that stuff in it. What if we put a big four wheel tire on it? And it was just massive that business is Surette? You know, our personal life is surrounded by this massive business, it's ready for any terrain, on our way to success. And that's really what it's about is that we are so focused on success being a monetary and of course, we love making money, success being monetary, that we fail to look at what we're doing to hurt our personal lives. And so when we get to that success, we're like, that's not really what I wanted, I thought it would be different.

Stuart Webb  03:12

You know, you hit a real chord, in my, in my thinking, where you sort of mentioned the, the need for the sort of the personal life to be at the centre of things, because you're right, we so often push that to the extremity, we often look at it and think, well, that can come later, after I've got the business. But you know, in building, you have absolutely destroyed the ability, you've got to rebuild that personal life, haven't you unless it's let it's the strong core, your business will always suffer, it will always be the thing which is suffering, because you haven't got a strength or rely on when you reach those tough times or when the tide does go flat.

Jen Duplessis  03:49

Yeah, and I think that's where people are, you know, that's why I say they're missing something in their lives, you know, and this is why I always say, to build your legacy, while you're, you know, or live your legacy while you're building it, because so many of us I love that you said you know if this when that then I will you know those types of things and, and that really is about the life of luxury as well. And though I say it in that way, instead of a luxurious life, there's a different anecdote, anecdote that happens there, you know, living a luxurious life, people think of boats and cars and watches and you know, all these fancy things, but living a life of luxury. The picture that you would see is reading a book to your child, going on a date with your spouse, right? Having dinner with your friends, all the things that we always say, Oh, I you know when love going to dinner, we should do it again. And then nothing happens, you know, or taking a nap or reading a book or in my case, I'm a dancer, right? I'm a competitive ballroom Latin and swing dancer. So for me, I I want to get out I want to go and dance. I want to enjoy those things. And I want to live my legacy while I'm building it. I don't want to wait. And that's why what happens a lot of times people build That legacy, and then they're just not happy at all. They're they're missing something in their lives, they're missing a spouse because they went bye bye, right? Or their children are saying, hey, now we're too busy for you. So I want people to be able to make that choice every day to be, you know, have the luxury of spending time with your family, the luxury of having dinner with your spouse.

Stuart Webb  05:22

Yeah, it's interesting, you say that, and it once again, just sort of something which you said then, which really resonated, because I remember a chief executive saying to me not very long ago, he was struggling in his relationship with his wife. And he began to realise that Unfortunately, he couldn't cope. couldn't cope with balance sheets. And I thought that was really interesting saying that he said, I can't hold my balance sheet.

Jen Duplessis  05:49

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, and and, you know, at what price? At what price? Right. And for him, it's both sides. No.

Stuart Webb  06:01

Yeah, so so. So I guess, I guess there are things that you have got, which are valuable free actions that we can all take. And at this stage, I'm gonna hope that I'm going to click onto the right banner and show something which might just help us discussions. That's it.

Jen Duplessis  06:16

Yeah. Yeah. So so this is a free, just quick PDF, but in seven strategies to break through your business mindset. And it starts with because all of this starts with well, how do I get going? How do I make this? You know, not rocket science? It's easy, right? How do I make it easy? And so these seven questions, it's really an exercise a thought provoking exercise, where you'd want to spend some time, not just go in and fill it out. But thinking about, hey, what are my core values? Because all of this starts with if you're going to make you first, instead of second, all of this starts with what are my core values? What are the things that are important to me my non negotiables? Because when I asked my coaching clients, you know, tell me about one of your core values, they'll respond with family, as if it's a question. Well, I don't know, is that a core value? Because for me a core values conviction. And if my family is a core value, then I have to say no to my clients, and yes to my family. And I'll tell you about a quote when we finished, but you know, I have to be able to say no, to some clients, and yes to myself. And so identifying those core values to to really sort of phone a friend, you know, when every business decision, I make every decision even to be on this podcast, everything is does this affect my core values? Does this inhibit my core values? And so often, I could have said, you know, and you guys don't know or anything, but that isn't the case. But, you know, if my husband said, hey, you know, let's go to breakfast together this morning, right. And I had that scheduled. And the only time you could meet was this morning. Most people will say, Honey, I can't do it. Because I have a podcast, I would say, Hey, I can't do the podcast today, because I have appointment with my husband. Right? And I think that's a key differentiator. So that's what these seven strategies are is just for you to go through and say, Okay, what are my core values? What are the boundaries I've set in my living up to them? Do I have the discipline to do that? Who are the who are the mentors in my life, you know, sometimes when you climb a ladder, you unless you're a monkey, you can't be at the top and the bottom, you have to let go of people that help to get to each rung because they're not ready to go to that next level. Or maybe you hired a part time assistant, and now you need an executive assistant. Right? And so you have to look at all of those aspects. And that's really what this process is through those seven strategies just to make you think, start thinking about really are you doing on a daily basis?

Stuart Webb  08:54

Yeah, you know, it's interesting, and I don't want to take away from you seven strategies so slightly down if I'm saying wrong, but I remember many years ago, one of my mentors saying to me, the first thing that I should put into my diary every week is time with my family so that I've got it reserved before anybody comes and books a silly meeting that I really don't need. Yeah, that's a really that was a really key thing for me when I was when I was building my corporate career. It was I would have meetings already either with myself or with my family. So don't book me out for something that I didn't really need.

Jen Duplessis  09:28

Yeah, and I think so often we feel guilty and so you know, so I'm going to tell you this quote now because it's all about this but it's yeah, we feel guilty telling our clients you know, I have We flatter those we scarcely know we please the fleeting guests. But we deal many thoughtless blow to those we love the best. Oh, we don't think even one second about saying sorry. I can't make it to your recitals. Sorry, I won't be home for dinner. Sorry, I can't this but boy Do we please those fleeting guests and like we'll do anything jump through hoops for our clients. And the people that are really important in our lives, we just poopoo them away, right. And we have to reverse engineer that.

Stuart Webb  10:13

I love your mom. I think that was a brilliant quote, I shall find a way of getting that one on the wall later on this afternoon that will be over there in my jet. So let's go to the something that I think I can see over your left shoulder, which I'm hoping you're going to talk to us about now. The one

Jen Duplessis  10:35

on my left, where's my luck during

Stuart Webb  10:38

the Great the books and programmes that have affected you most? They it looks like that's one of them.

Jen Duplessis  10:44

One? Yes, that's one of it. Well, that's my own book. But, you know, books that have affected me the most, you know, Sharon Lechter, wrote Outwitting the Devil, which is part of Napoleon Hills, they found they found the manuscript not too long ago, it had been stored away for over 50 years. And he never published a book because he felt it was too much of a disrupter. So she went through the book, and then and then, you know, created her own thoughts behind it and stuff. I think, waiting the devil is probably one of the best things, it's not the devil you think it is? It's yourself. I think that's a really good one. And the compound effect by Darren Hardy. You know, I'm a priority management expert. And that is really what that's about is how do you manifest more out of the time that you have, instead of creating more time writing working longer hours? And, and I've had I perfected that, you know, I have four businesses that I run, and I still have a life of luxury.

Stuart Webb  11:45

Wow. Well, you just mentioned a book I haven't heard of, and that's pretty unusual. So I'm really, really intrigued to get hold of that one and have a look at that one. Because that is that's gonna be one that's gonna be on my reading list now. And I spent some time every day reading something. So that one's going to be on my list to get the edit as soon as possible journeys been real. It's been a great time having you and I'm not going to make you do the work. So there's a question that I guess you're thinking at the moment that you wish I had asked, and I haven't done so so far. So what's the question I should have asked you. And then obviously, once you've asked that question, would you answer it for us?

Jen Duplessis  12:19

Um, oh, my goodness. Yeah. And I, you know, I was thinking about this this morning. But it's funny, when you get into this, you're like, Oh, well, the he asked those questions. And those are questions. Um, what question Haven't you asked? Uh, you know, I, I don't think you haven't not asked a question right now that, you know, this is the message I wanted to share with people is that you know, we make life too difficult. We make business too difficult. Like you're saying it's not rocket scientists, you know? And I would say, the question is, how do you keep it simple, right. And, you know, for me it is you've got to have clarity. It all stems around clarity, it can come back to Oh, the why behind and the who and the what, ensuring the vision, all of that is important. You have to have clarity of what you want in this life, to help you stop eating soup with a fork every day with all of your activities. And that's what we tend to do, we're just eating soup with a fork and we're exhausted, and we're not filled or fulfilled at the end of the day. So keep it simple by taking the time to slow down long enough so that you can speed up later instead of speeding up now so that you slow down everywhere.

Stuart Webb  13:42

Jen, not only do I love your mom, I now think that you have just hit the nail on the head. I am all about clarity. I love clarity. And you have just made that wonderful Jen that has been such and it's an insightful and really wonderful few minutes spending time with you. Thank you so much for coming on and talking to us. Really appreciate your insights into this and not only have you given me a new book to read, I'm obviously going to have to get into gender classes book and really enjoy that because that sounds like a really wonderful read. Listen everybody listening if you weren't able to join us live today get listen to the to the podcast later and please rate and subscribe it but but if you would like to get on to the newsletter so that you get an A notification every Monday of who we've got coming on this podcast who's going to be here so that you can listen in live and ask questions if you want to get onto that newsletter by going to TCA dot FYI forward slash get scribe. That's TCA dot FYI, forward slash subscribe, Jen. It's been a real pleasure having you on. Thank you so much.

Jen Duplessis  14:45

Thank you so much. Thank you for what you're doing. It's fantastic. I love it.

Stuart Webb  14:49

I love I love your insights. That was absolutely wonderful. And I just encourage everybody get out there. Remember, you've got those seven strategies that you can go and get at and ask us those questions there are some hard questions you need to ask yourself about what you're doing to build your steel rim before you build your your business tire. So let's let's get out there and make sure we've got the right way around. Jen, thank you very much for your time. Really appreciate it.

Jen Duplessis  15:14

Thank you so much. Bye bye

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