If I Speak

43: How far would you go to be yourself? w/ Amrou Al-Kadhi

Moya and Ash talk to writer and director Amrou Al-Kadhi about his brilliant debut film, Layla, which follows a young drag queen in chaotic pursuit of self-expression. Plus, advice on how to handle a partner with a porn addiction.

42: Why won’t they just break up?

Moya has a theory for Ash about unhappy couples who will do anything except break up. Why are we sometimes so hesitant to pull the plug? Plus, advice for a special one dealing with guilt after the end of a relationship.

41: When do good habits become dark obsessions?

Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about breaking bad habits, with a frank discussion about open relationships, exercise and disordered eating (content warning). Plus, a listener with a question about cross-racial dating,

40: Do aesthetic trends offer clues to political shifts?

Moya has a big theory for Ash about aesthetic trends as a harbinger of the US election results, which prompts a very adult discussion (read: argument) about the purpose of the podcast. Plus a bundle of your Missed Connections,

39: I’m in big trouble! Your dilemmas answered

Ash and Moya tackle another bumper crop of your dilemmas, including a special one who wants to stop mothering her friends, a burned-out student struggling to get back on track, a self-confessed slacker looking for a meaningful career,

38: Why is Andrew Tate’s manosphere so seductive? w/ Matt Shea and Jamie Tahsin

Moya and Ash are joined by the authors of Clown World, a new book exposing Andrew Tate’s grip on his followers around the world, to talk about why patriarchy is so seductive. Plus, advice for a special one who is drowning under their workload.

37: Do you believe in ghosts?

The veil is thin this time of year, so Moya and Ash tackle a mystery question about the spirit realm. Plus, neighbourhood cat panics and advice for a listener who can’t stand that her friend is a police officer.

36: Should being a girlboss earn me a break from cleaning?

Ash and Moya wonder why women still shoulder the burden of housework, even when they’re #leaningin to their careers. Plus, a listener who doesn’t know how to deal with his cheating ex-partner. Email your missed connections and dilemmas to ifispeak@no…

35: Help! My scatty friends can’t meet my standards

Are you a Black Cat? Or a #cleangirl? Do you have Main Character Energy? Moya has a big theory about the urge to give ourselves new labels. Plus, a listener who feels like her friends and family can’t meet her standards.

34: How mean can you be to other people’s kids?

Ash and Moya channel their inner Clint Eastwoods to lament the rise of trick or treating, and consider how to interact with other people’s children. Plus, a listener dealing with confusing feelings after a difficult abortion.