Challenges That Change Us
103 {Emma Schaeffer} The impact of childhood neglect
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Episode notes
Trigger warning: domestic violence
This episode is a truly raw and personal look at the impact of not only domestic violence on children, but also the impact that unsecure parenting can have as well.
Our guest is Emma Schaeffer, a mother of three fabulous humans, a wife of a genuine salt of the earth guy, a Creative, a Teacher, and more recently a Cycle Breaker.
Emma grew up with a tumultuous childhood and a relationship with her mother that made trust and security a very scarce thing.
She has worked hard through many set backs to achieve her education career and also to reach a place where she feels she is prepared to not repeat the past.
This episode will give you a close up look of how this kind of parental relationship can leave a lasting impact, but also how some people can bravely choose to break the cycle.
In this episode Emma shares:
· About her challenging childhood of choosing which Parent to live with at a young age.
· Her experience of living in different environments and dealing with DV from step parents
· How she developed a need to protect her mother that remained in her for a long time
· Feeling unsafe and alone while her Dad was out drinking and socialising.
· The shame that came with DV in the house when her mum wouldn’t speak up
· How she turned to alcohol to help her cope in her teenage years.
· What made her choose to no longer include alcohol in her life
· How DV returned to her life when she moved back with her mum in her late teens
· How she handled things differently to when she was younger
· How it’s hard to trust, when your parents keep creating different stories.
· The way she went about creating a toolbox so she can create a life for her kids that she didn’t have.
· How you can choose to “hop off the ride” if you’re in a space or situation you don’t want to be in anymore.
Key Quotes
“There was unfortunate domestic violence that appeared in that space”
“My hardest days in those days were built of fear.”
“Not even once during that part of my life did my mum come to visit.”
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