Don't Buy Her Flowers

How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life with Dr Karen Gurney

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Episode notes

Ahead of the release of her new book, Clinical Psychologist Dr Karen Gurney returns to the DBHF podcast after her previous episode about sex in long term relationships became the most downloaded to date, resulting in at least two pregnancies (that we know of!) and Steph received hundreds of messages from women and couples that felt huge relief in what Karen said about desire in long term relationships.


Now Karen, AKA The Sex Doctor, has written a book specifically for parents - How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life - out in April 2024. Steph and Karen talk about how tiredness, distraction, lack of time and the mental load affect sex lives, and Karen describes the ‘storm’ that children often bring to a relationship. They talk about the different impacts of new babies, primary school age kids and teens. Karen and Steph also discuss spontaneous vs responsive desire and the idea that it is normal to never feel spontaneous desire in a long term relationship. Karen also explains how key it is to understand the different role sex plays for individuals, communicating better about sex, and offers advice and practical ways to maintain (or bring back) sexual connection, particularly when there is no time.



Karen’s first episode on the DBHF podcast on Apple or Spotify


Karen’s Instagram


How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life, out in April 2024 and available to pre-order now

- can we add the pre-order link when they give it to us Friday?


Karen’s first book Mind the Gap 


Eve Rodsky’s book FairPlay


Darcy Lockman’s book All the rage: Mothers, Fathers and the myth of equal partnership


Steph’s Instagram


Thoughtful gifts


This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements with targeted health benefits. Use the code DBHF20 for 20% off any product on their website


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