In/Fertility In The City
Redefining Family: The Rise of Solo Motherhood by Choice - with Lucia Grounds
Published: 8 December 2025 at 05:00 Europe/London
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Episode notes
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode deals with discussions of in/fertility and baby loss.
At 46, Lucia became a solo mum to twins conceived through embryo donation. Her path to parenthood was anything but straightforward: seven IVF cycles, six miscarriages, clinics in London, New York and Spain, remortgaging her house and navigating a fertility world that largely shut out single women.
In this episode, Lucia shares her powerful story of becoming a solo mum by choice almost 20 years ago, and how the world of donor conception has changed – and where it still needs to catch up. She talks candidly about miscarriage, the emotional and financial toll of treatment, going abroad for anonymous donation, and raising donor-conceived twins who are now almost 20.
We also dive into the legal and ethical landscape with fertility and surrogacy lawyer Natalie: the end of donor anonymity in the UK, DNA testing, global donor limits, and what all of this means for the real families and real children at the heart of the fertility industry.
If you’re considering solo motherhood, donor conception, or you’re already parenting donor-conceived children, this conversation is honest, nuanced and deeply validating.
What we cover
- How Lucia went from “I’ll think about kids later” to starting IVF at 44 as a single woman
- What UK fertility clinics were like for single women in 2004 – ethics committees, GP “fit to parent” letters and outright refusals
- Why Lucia switched from her own eggs to egg donation and ultimately to embryo donation
- Conceiving twins at 46: fear, shock and the practical realities of solo parenting two babies
- The emotional and financial cost of seven IVF cycles and treatment in the UK, Spain and the US
- Setting a hard deadline at 45 and having a “Plan B” that didn’t include children
- How Lucia’s own solo mum shaped her confidence to parent alone
- The role of Donor Conception Network and why Lucia joined *before* she had children
- How donor conception has changed in 20 years – single women, lesbian couples and rising numbers
- The shift from anonymous donation to ID-release donors in the UK
- DNA testing, half-siblings and why anonymity is now essentially impossible
- How Lucia has talked to her twins about being donor-conceived from early childhood
- Why one twin wanted DNA testing at 12 (and the other didn’t care at all)
- The grief of not knowing more about a donor – and how parents can support that
- Donor limits, global sperm banks and why donor-conceived adults are calling for more regulation
- The pressure on women to project-manage fertility journeys and advocate for extra testing
- The importance of implications counselling for both recipients and donors
Guest bio:
Lucia Grounds is a solo mum to 19-year-old twins conceived through embryo donation when she was 46, after seven IVF cycles and six miscarriages. A former event producer, journalist and TV researcher, Lucia now freelances with the Donor Conception Network (DCN), a charity that supports people creating their families through donor conception. She facilitates workshops, organises events and hosts online chats for solo mums, helping new members navigate the emotional, practical and ethical questions around donor conception and solo parenthood.
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About King’s Fertility (Sponsor):
One of London’s most respected IVF clinics, working with King’s College Hospital and King’s College London. King’s Fertility offers NHS and private patients world-leading research, advanced treatment, and compassionate care. Learn more at kingsfertility.co.uk
