In/Fertility In The City

Grief, Guilt & the Glass Ceiling: Kate’s Journey Through Unexplained Infertility - with Kate Stovold

Published: 15 December 2025 at 05:00 Europe/London

Listen on

Episode notes

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode deals with discussions of in/fertility and/or baby loss.

In this episode of In/Fertility in the City, Natalie and Somaya are joined by Kate Stovold – full-time working mum and partner at The International Family Law Group – to talk about unexplained infertility, grief, career pressure and mum guilt.

Kate opens up about losing her brother Jack, her diagnosis of unexplained infertility, being told to “stop work” to improve her chances of conceiving, and how she navigated IVF despite a phobia of needles.

Together, they explore the emotional load of being a family lawyer supporting clients through trauma, the myth that women can simply “step back” from their careers, and why honest fertility education and workplace policies matter more than ever.

Guest bio

Kate Stovold is a partner at The International Family Law Group (iFLG), specialising in the resolution of financial claims on divorce and separation. She’s also a full-time working mum and IVF parent, navigating the juggle of high-pressure city practice and family life – ideally with a smile on her face or a glass of something chilled in hand.

What we cover in this episode

Unexplained infertility & hidden causes
- Kate’s experience of a diagnosis that raised more questions than answers
- How unprocessed grief and trauma – including the loss of her brother – may show up in the body
- The link between autoimmune conditions, epigenetics and fertility challenges
When your career is “the problem”
- Being repeatedly told by clinicians to “stop work” to improve fertility
- Why that advice is often financially and practically unrealistic
- The emotional conflict between loving your career and longing to be a parent
- The unique emotional burden of family lawyers holding clients’ trauma
Fertility education: what we were never taught
- Why fertility, miscarriage and pregnancy loss should be part of age-appropriate education
- The stigma of miscarriage and the silence of the “don’t tell before 12 weeks” rule
- Talking to teenagers about options – including egg freezing – without promising miracles
- Kate’s work with school careers programmes and openly sharing that her son is an IVF baby
Mum guilt & the working parent tightrope
- Survivor guilt after infertility: “I’m one of the lucky ones”
- Everyday working-mum guilt: late nights in London, missed bedtimes, nursery drop-offs
- Why being a good parent sometimes means having time to be yourself
- The emotional load mothers often carry by default – and how to share it with partners
Needles, IVF and doing it anyway
- Kate’s needle phobia, and the nurse who spent half an hour just helping her hold a syringe
- Injecting herself while her husband travelled for work
- The very real, very unglamorous reality of IVF: “When you want a baby, you’ll do anything.”
Taking back control from “the pressure”
- Social and professional pressure to:
  - get pregnant quickly
  - have children close in age
  - “bounce back” after birth
- Learning to name those pressures so we can choose differently
- Why we need workplaces that recognise fertility treatment, pregnancy loss and parenthood as part of real life, not an inconvenient side issue