That's Where I'm At

Breaking Free of the Shoulds with Debbie Harrell

That's Where I'm At

Published: 19 March 2025 at 13:00 Europe/London

Listen on

Episode notes

Debbie Harrell is the vibrant force behind the New World Normal podcast—a space where questioning and disrupting societal norms is not just encouraged, it's the main event. As the host, Debbie dives into insightful conversations with guest experts and thought leaders, exploring how we can break free from norms that no longer serve us.

In her coaching practice, Debbie is a guide for values-focused individuals ready to disrupt their personal norms. She empowers clients to challenge all of their "shoulds" and "have-tos," helping them align with their core principles rather than societal expectations.

Beyond her biz, Debbie is a proud mom to two grown humans and caretaker of two rescued fur-babies. Nature, travel, and live music are her happy places, especially when they come together. Debbie's belief in the power of community is the driving force behind her podcast and community—providing comfort and connection in our often chaotic world. Because, in Debbie's view, embracing our similarities and collaborating as a collective offers the best chance for us all thriving in this crazy world.

When we face life changes like divorce or a new job, uncertainty often follows. I would ask my friends what they wanted, and most didn't know. We've spent so much time following societal expectations that we're disconnected from our true desires.

Today’s guest is Debbie from the New World Normal podcast, where she challenges societal norms and guides individuals to align their lives with personal values instead of society's demands.

Debbie shares her journey into coaching—realizing she wasn't fulfilled despite doing everything expected of her led her to question life's transitions. She found herself asking others what they truly wanted when faced with similar uncertainties.

Her own experiences—a challenging year marked by loss and trauma—prompted deep reflection on how past events impacted her well-being. Recognizing symptoms of trauma helped Debbie understand the importance of addressing these issues before reaching breaking points.

We discuss recognizing signs that something might be wrong: feeling numb, relying on distractions like shopping or Netflix too heavily, or saying “that’s just who I am” as an excuse for behavior patterns developed for self-protection.

The key takeaway is giving yourself permission to explore your feelings without waiting for major life disruptions as catalysts for change. Healing doesn't have to be overwhelming; it's about peeling back layers gently over time while seeking support through communities or professionals when needed.

3:13 Realizing we did all the “shoulds” we’re told to do.

04:06 Being caught on a treadmill of what we should do, and reflecting on what we actually want to do.

04:43 Hindsight on divorce & the transition

6:36 From podcasting to coaching

7:38 My Hero’s journey & an abrupt loss

08:58 The nation's largest mass shooting

00:15:46The comparison game about trauma

21:23 Feeling trapped in a relationship that leaves you questioning your worth and sanity?

29:07 Needing permission as an adult and borrowing courage

32:06 Oh, wait, who am I? Like, people don't want to hear from me.

33:04 Book recommendations

42:09 Reflections on becoming better

Quotes :

“We are not getting better for the sake of being better for ourselves. We're getting better for the sake of being better for the world around us. You know, like, it all ripples out. “

“Why do we have to wait for big life transitions? Why not start thinking about it now?”

“If you’re feeling something was traumatic, it probably was.”

If you are ready to questions some norms please schedule a free discovery call today!

RESOURCES:

MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources

FOLLOW DEBBIE: https://www.newworldnormal.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newworldnormal_

Books Mentioned: Check out the list here: Laura's Bookstore