That's Where I'm At

Overcoming Life's Pain and Rebuilding a Life of Joy: Christina's Story

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Episode notes

In this episode, Laura is joined by Christina Hernandez, a single white female (with a sense of humor). Former wife, stay-at-home-mom, and homeschooler. Presently single, empty nester, grandmother, and wanna be homesteader. Christina’s life and goals have completely taken a 180 in the last decade. She is at a place she never thought she would be when she thought of her future. Christina is also very proud of where she is and what she has accomplished, considering they were not her plans. She believes she has pivoted very well, but still harbors resentment. Christina considers herself a contradiction of pain and joy, anxiety and peace, faith and free will, and fulfillment and discontent. She shares her story of navigating a challenging marriage, finding strength in her faith, and starting over in a new state. 

Join Laura and Chris as they discuss the contradictions, pain, and joy of rebuilding a life, and discovering a new sense of self.

Timestamps

[00:22] Christina’s background and current life situation 

[01:49] How Christina's life has changed in the past decade

[02:45] Christina’s relationship before the dissolution of her marriage

[03:00] Unexpected pregnancy in college and her uncertainty about her future

[04:09] Christina’s reflection on childhood, parental divorce, and stepfather's impact

[04:35] How Christina met her husband and the initial attraction she felt towards him.

[06:25] The challenges faced in trying to have a baby and their decision to get married [10:23] Signs of issues noticed by Christina in her marriage

[11:13] Ways in which Christina may have abandoned herself in the relationship

[15:21] Things that Christina did to express herself without causing conflict in the relationship

[17:03] Why Christina decided to dissolve her marriage

[21:31] Christina’s journey towards self-sufficiency

[25:25] Christina's journey standing for her marriage and acceptance of the irreversible reality

[30:33] The role of faith in Christina’s healing process

[37:46] Starting over and reinventing after divorce

[42:59] Christina’s current situation

[48:39] Acts of kindness Christina received from others during their journey

[53:19] The impact of Christina’s marriage on her youth and dreams

Notable Quotes
  • I had no idea what my life looked like. But I knew what I wanted. I wanted the picket fence, the perfect home, the perfect husband, the perfect family.
  • My faith was never stronger than when I was going through this. It was never me to do so. Close to God, and I don't even say close like I pray for this now, and it's funny because I mean, I was so dependent, just for every breath I took just to be able to function, just to be able to whatever. And I mean, my longing and my desire for God in my life at that time, because otherwise I was gonna die.
  • I just needed to be anonymous. I just wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew me. Nobody knew my history. Nobody knew anything about your story. And yeah, and I didn't have to hear about the sightings and the gossip and or even witness it, you know, just the stuff I was dealing with all the time. I was like, I just don't want this anymore.
  • I wanted to fight for my marriage, but there was always this part of me that knew there was no going back.
  • I just felt like I needed a clean slate. Yeah, I had already left my church. We talked about that, that I just, um, and I love my church dearly. And I am so grateful for all the support I had, how wonderful everyone was, and how they rallied around me.
  • You know, here's what's funny, though, Laura, I said, Now I can be myself again. I can, you know, be the true authentic self that I hid under a bushel for all these years. Yeah. But you know what? She's never come back. She's not coming back. She's gone.
RESOURCES:

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Beyond Affairs:  https://www.beyondaffairs.com Rejoice Marriage Ministries: https://rejoiceministries.org