Dadvengers

Dadvengers #36 - Josh Connolly

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Episode notes

Josh Connolly is making waves in the mental health world. He is one of the UK's most influential mental health advocates and has spoken in the House of Commons, to help shape mental health policy, but life didn’t start there.

Josh grew up in a household with an alcoholic parent, which had a massive impact on his life. He remembers a lot of feelings of fear and shame and by the time he was 12 Josh was using alcohol.

Cut to 24 and Josh was a dad to four children and separated from their mum. That's when he realised he needed to stop drinking. He joined a 12 step programme and got sober, but all the emotions he'd been suppressing came back.

Hearing Josh's story of going from a dark, deep depression, to using his experiences to help other people is truly inspirational. We're so grateful to Josh for joining us 💙

Time Codes

1:51 – " I grew up in quite a frightening environment… one that was steeped in a lot of shame" - Josh shares his upbringing.

4:47 - "When people were telling me to be brave, I think they were terrified of the feelings I needed to express." - Why trying to fix our children's emotions is more difficult than trying to help them.

10:10 - "I have to notice how regularly I can’t be there emotionally for my children and what brings that up." - Josh tells us how he ensures he is there for his children.

15:02 - "Our common belief is men don’t do them… they do them, in a space where they feel it is acceptable and safe" - Josh on men and showing emotions.

18:58 - "It was a terribly dark place for me, but when I made the decision it felt like the right thing to do" - Josh tells us about planning to take his own life, and what stopped him doing it.

23:55 - "I made a commitment to myself to be as gut level honest with myself and the people around me as I could" - What helped Josh seek support when he was at his lowest.

26:48 - "I am a compulsive people pleaser… It is a coping, protection mechanism, but it keeps me alone." - Josh tells us how his childhood still impacts him. 

30:12 - "I remember vividly with my first daughter… I thought was you need to get as far away from me as you possibly can, there is no way I can show up for you in the way that you need" - What scared Josh the most when he became a father,

35:18 - "Regrets is different to blame… I was doing the best with the tools that I had at that time." - How Josh reflects on his mental health issues.

38:36 - "Since the time I nearly took my own life… the main bulk of the work I had to do was learn that the ways I felt made sense." - Josh on healing from his childhood and moving forward.

40:49 - "We launched a campaign because we realised that there has never been any funding for children of parents affected by a parents drinking" - Josh's work with NACOA

44:13 - "It is more strange in our society for me to be a sober dad than it was a drunk one." - How society views being sober over drinking as a parent.

46:31 - "Those moments of total presence with my kids is what I live for… they’re beautiful." - Josh's favourite part about parenting, and how he achieves it.

49:56 - Josh's Dad Superpower!

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