That's Where I'm At

Embracing Life After Loss: Karen's Journey of Love and Transformation

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Episode notes

In this episode, Laura shares an intimate and heartfelt conversation with her guest Karen Murdoch, who opens up about her journey through widowhood after her husband's long battle with chronic pain and subsequent passing 15 years ago. They discuss the challenges of being a caregiver, the emotional toll of watching a loved one suffer, and the complex emotions that come with grief and relief.

Karen shares her journey of coping with the loss of her first husband, Dan, her eventual remarriage, and how she navigated the complexities of honoring her past while building a new life. She emphasizes the importance of seeking support, both professionally and from friends, and highlights the significance of self-care and nutrition during difficult times. 

Tune in to discover guidance and inspiration for your journey. 

Timestamps

[02:35] Karen’s journey to widowhood

[05:57] The overwhelming impact of her husband's persistent pain

[08:56] The challenging caregiving role undertaken by Karen for her spouse

[10:50] Challenges with people not understanding the key issue with Karen’s spouse

[15:15] Challenges in discussing caregiving emotions and limits

[20:26] Karen’s journey after the death of her husband

[22:53] Coping with loss through sharing memories with friends and joining a grief share class for support. 

[26:21] Balancing advice and listening when discussing grief with friends

[27:37] Things undertaken by Karen to help herself with the healing process

[30:45] How Karen met his new husband, John

[39:31] Tips for coping with caregiving and grief challenges

[42:00] Significance of respite care in supporting parents and caregivers 

Notable Quotes
  • I heard that in Divorce Care, it was the same thing. They're like, wait to date before a year anniversary. Things like that, you know? Yeah. It's an arbitrary number. Like, where do we get this? The overall intent of that is a good thing. Yeah. But everybody's situation is different. Everybody is. You have to think about it.
  • Knowing what you know now, you may have done some things differently, but it was always reinforced. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. 
  • I would agree that nutrition is super, super important. Yeah. And taking that self-care time for yourself. If it's like going for a walk. Yeah. Like, it doesn't need to be far, it doesn't need to be long. Yeah. But take a half-hour walk around your neighborhood, get out in the fresh air, and have that time to yourself. Make sure that you build those boundaries in your life. You might be a caregiver, but you do need time for yourself. And on top of that, get respite care.
  • The one piece of advice I would give to a friend of a widow or someone who has lost someone they love, let them talk about that person. And you talk about that person too. Yes. Share your memories because your memory with that person who's gone on is not known.
Resources

Follow the podcast here: thatswhereimatpodcast.com.

Journals: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Laura-Richards/author/B09TX5ZW46?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true 

Family and Community Support Services: https://fcssaa.org

Karen's Website: https://www.workwithkarenmurdoch.com/yes

Government of Canada Resources: https://www.cic.gc.ca/english/helpcentre/results-by-topic.asp?top=28

The Canadian Pain Society: https://www.canadianpainsociety.ca

Grief Resources: https://www.griefshare.org