That's Where I'm At

From Darkness to Light: Monica's Journey of Overcoming Trauma, Abuse and Addiction

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Episode notes

In this episode, Laura is joined by Monica, a resilient mother of three who shares her journey from growing up in an alcoholic home to overcoming trauma, abuse, and addiction. Monica spent most of her life feeling unwell enough for any relationship. She has a history of sexual and physical abuse and addiction, which is part of her story. She has worked in the people business, like fast food, bartending, and health care, and is currently in recovery. Monica always supports other women and loves people where they are. She opens up about the pervasive feeling of inadequacy that haunted her for most of her life, leading to her imprisonment. Laura and Monica explore the profound impact of a lack of positive reinforcements and dive into the crucial concepts of self-forgiveness and personal growth. Monica's story unfolds, revealing her resilience in escaping an abusive relationship and the transformative power of setting boundaries to recognize self-worth. The conversation touches on prioritizing one's needs and recognizing personal value, and Monica shares the empowering steps she takes to learn how to love herself. 

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Timestamps

[00:01:12] Monica’s background

[00:02:21] Growing up in an alcoholic home

[00:05:09] Trauma and abuse in childhood

[00:06:43] How Monica felt not good enough

[00:07:51] How Monica ended up in prison

[00:10:45] Lack of positive reinforcements and how they affect individuals

[00:12:24] Self-forgiveness and the importance of personal growth

[00:14:19] Abusive relationship and resilience

[00:18:35] Setting boundaries and self-worth

[00:19:45] Prioritizing one's needs and recognizing personal value 

[00:23:47] Things that Monica does to learn how to love herself

[00:28:55] Acts of kindness and gratitude

[00:30:23] Becoming a new, improved you

[00:35:12] Dealing with pain and addiction

[00:37:03] Embracing Imperfections and Self-Love

[00:40:05] Moving forward and leaving the past

Notable Quotes
  • Grandkids are the best because they love you the way you are. They think you're the superwoman, Superman, whatever it is. And maybe I wasn't the greatest mother, but at least I can show my grandchildren, you know, in front of their mother that, you know, I am an amazing grandma.
  • It took me many times through treatment. And many, many, many times in recovery. I don't remember who said it, but you know, it says recovery is easy or whatever. Quitting is easy. I know because I've done it 1000 times, and, and I have, it feels like 1000 times, you know, it really does.
  • I learned to set boundaries. And, you know, once you start setting boundaries, that's when people really want to overstep them.
  •  I didn't know what it would take for me to love myself first before I could experience love outside of that. But if I give what I give, unconditional love, right? I'm likely to receive it back.
  • Every time I recovered, I wanted to recover for good. I just never did, you know, I had to grow and had to deal with the pain. You know, I had to fight for myself, learn how to love myself and learn how to accept people the way they are to the unconditional love that my uncle taught me.
  • Deal with it as you can, as you can. You don't have to, you know, dump that big black garbage bag on yourself, but deal with it, you know, stop worrying about what everybody else says.
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Songs mentioned in the episode: Matthew West - Hello, My Name Is https://youtu.be/ZuJWQzjfU3o